Sleep problems

[Steel]

I've had bother with sleep on and off over the past few years. Mainly its just that I have real problems switching off at night. I've never been one of those people who can sleep anywhere or drift off as soon as my head hits the pillow. Noooo I have too lay there for a good half hour (on a good night) before I can finaly sleep. Sometimes I wake up every hour. Alot of the time I wake up and wonder where I am.

I wish I could blame my children but I've always been like this... and thankfully they havn't inherited it from me. Instead they are like their mom and dead to the world the second they are in bed... AND I HATE THEM! They get like eight hours plus before I have too drag them out of bed.

I never fall asleep when I dont mean too. I supose the plus side of that is I'm unlikely to fall asleep driving or something.

Now I've tried lots of stuff too help me, but to be honist I seem to be too stubourn. I tried sleeping tablets but all I do it fight them off and then get no sleep because I refuse to be drugged. I know thats stupid.

I got a bit better in recent years, able to get around seven hours sleep (a miricle for a parent) with some planning... like going to bed earlier and doing my best to relax.

Anyway after thinking I'm ok finaly I wasn't expecting this little gem of sleepy wonder. Sleep paralysis. So I wake up certain that I heard a creepy little croaky voice behind my head saying "Hello" and sudenly there is a sharp pain in my spine. Now I'm utterly alone in the house, having a weekend to myself. I know this so all I feel is a weird overwhelming terror. Now I'm someone who used to jump out of planes for a hobby, I've been mugged by people with knifes, I work as a paramedic and have seen some pretty horrific things. Even as a kid my parents thought I was werid as I didn't get scared. I dont actualy think being "fearless" is a good thing. Its made me do really stupid things. I've never felt fear for myself untill that moment. My mind started racing to all sorts of irational conclusions. I was lying on my side so I tried to flip over to face this "Thing". However as hard as I tried I couldn't move (hence the obvious paralysis part). I saw a strange sort of blur of my leg raising and arm raising up as if I were moving but then it would vanish and I'd be exactly in the same position. So I tried again, still with this pain in my back and the feel of this precence behind me. This went on for what felt like about five minutes of me struggling too move, seeing a weird after effect and then being right where I was before. Finaly I flipped over and obviously there was nothing there. I felt my back, nothing there ether. I'm dreanched with sweat and my heart is racing. So I get angry. I get up and stalk around the house. Once I'm sure I am alone I turn to the internet too prove too myself that I'm just crazy.

Unsuprisingly it turns out to be a documented condition. People suspect this is where the idea for alien abduction and demon visitation came from.

Also it turns out that there are two types of expiriences. Terror or Euphoria... Lucky me I get the intence terror.

Now I can rationalise it in my head I recon I'll be ok. Although I think that everyone is a bit stupid when they first wake up.