If I ruled the world, The rules at gigs would be..

[grizzley8u]

The Rules

1) If all you are going to do is stand there looking miserable BUY A SEAT! or just don't go, please you spoil the atmosphere.

2) If you are short and ask to go in front of someone and they let you, DON'T THEN INVITE YOUR TALL FRIEND TO STAND NEXT TO YOU!

3) If by some miracle your short friend has invited you to stand in front of someone, AT THE VERY LEAST LOOK LIKE YOU WANT TO BE THERE !!! some lovely person has compromised their enjoyment so your short friend can see and then you come and block them and look miserable, GO AWAY!

4) It is the solemn right of the person with an obstructed view to ask the obstructee to at least look like they are enjoying the evening. SHOW A LITTLE ENTHUSIASM YOU RUINED SOMEONES NIGHT, HALFWIT!!

5) Don't forget how you got somewhere, if someone politely asks you to at least look like your enjoying it, do not get on your high horse and tell them not to ruin your night you self righteous Johnson and remember how you got there IE THE TALL BRICK TOILET BLOCK BEHIND YOU POLITELY ASKING, LET YOUR SHORT FRIEND STAND THERE YOU MISERABLE DUCK, YOU PUSHED IN.

6)If ALL you are going to do is snuggle your girlfriend

Option 1 GET A ROOM and the LIVE DVD

Option 2 Stand at the BACK

DO NOT Stand at the front we don't want to see

7) SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN ANY BAND IS PLAYING SLAPNUT, just because you don't want to see them doesn't mean the person next to you doesn't.

8) Refrain from standing at the front if all you are going to do for every song is hold your camera up and record it, one song fine, the whole set BUY A CLUCKING LIVE DVD and let the person behind you see Slappy.


So if I ruled the world and everyone stuck to these 8 simple rules we could all get along swimmingly, Yes I do enjoy a good rant I'm getting the practice in for when I'm old and I'm officially allowed to rant with no repercussions. I hope you enjoyed the edited for juniors version of the rant. I found it strangely therapeutic and enjoyable to think how to make it so.

Grizz